Friday, May 29, 2009

Bukowski and Some Thoughts

"This is a world where everybody’s gotta do something. Ya know, somebody laid down this rule that everybody’s gotta do something, they gotta be something. You know, a dentist, a glider pilot, a narc, a janitor, a preacher, all that . . . Sometimes I just get tired of thinking of all the things that I don’t wanna do. All the things that I don’t wanna be. Places I don’t wanna go, like India, like getting my teeth cleaned. Save the whale, all that, I don’t understand that . . ."
Barfly, 1987

I like this Charles Bukowski quote. I'm getting really tired of thinking lately. Andrew and I are in a transient point in our life. We're on the edge, constantly considering moving to new places but always finding reasons not to. I'm exploring new paths in my mind, and finding that choosing "what I want to be" is too impossible of a task. And lately, I've just been sticking my head in the ground, going through the motions and trying not to think too much [[which explains my influx of recipes -- the kitchen is a nice way to loose yourself, instant results are rare and nice, too]]. I'm hoping some great revelation will come to me soon, and I'll know exactly what I should be doing. I know I'm only 20, now, but 21 is sneaking up on me, and I suppose before I know it, 30 will sneak up on me, and it will be even harder to transition out of the 9 to5. The longer I stay, the more comfortable I get. And going back to school seems even more pointless [[I'll just have to pick a major, or settle on one and end up with a useless degree and even more copious school debt]].

For now, I suppose I'll cook. And continue to post recipes, in hopes that I help the transition to veganism for some people. Or simply give those at a 9 to 5, or those beating their heads in during class, something light-hearted and fun to read.

1 comment:

Andrew Warner said...

Bukowski sure does know a thing or two about working the shitty 9-5. He was like 35 when he got started doing what he wanted to do. Don't sweat it too much, kid.