It's amazing the things you discover about yourself when you cut ties with something. Like when you break up with someone and realize what a needy b*tch you were. Or when you move towns and find that the world is so different than you imagined. Or when you fast... and you find out how completely obsessed you are with food.
My life revolves around food, and I don't think that's too far off for most of us. While I'm at work, all I have to look forward to is lunch, so I'm constantly pining for food all morning. Then when lunch is over, I look forward to getting home and eating dinner. I think all afternoon about what I'm going to make, or pick up, or what sounds good right now. Then finally the weekend comes. But socializing and eating have become the way of the world now so, you go out to restaurants and bars and have dinner parties. And that's how it is throughout elementary school, high school, college, the working world -- your only bit of freedom is to eat.
I know this may sound a bit strange coming from a food blogger. I do love the art of cooking, especially when related to veganism. However, our inability to socialize or relax without food is a little off-putting.
Fasting removes you from that. You can't eat, so you no long crave lunch or dinner. And since socializing is pretty wrapped up in eating, you don't really socialize either. The past two days, I feel like I've wanted nothing [[besides for the fast to end, but you really shouldn't think about that too much-- you'll go nuts]]. I'm at my work day. I have no lunch break to look forward to, so I am able to just take the hours as they come. When work is over, I'm in no hurry to get to the grocery, cook, do the dishes [[well, that's Andrew]], and then FINALLY get to relax. I get to sit in the car with Andrew, enjoy his company, get home and do whatever I feel like. I felt like I was finally embracing the moment and not constantly thinking about the next step.
They say fasting is suppose to give you some great enlightenment, and I was little bummed that all I felt was tired. But I suppose the true enlightenment was the clarity of mind. I did occasionally find myself, in a routine way, going to eat something and then realizing, I can't. But by the second day, I had broken my routines of eating, and was able to sit peacefully.
If you've never been able to sit peacefully, and I know I haven't, try fasting. Your mind will slow down and you'll start to let go.
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